


Fraser/Callum

by china_shop



Category: Canadian Actor RPF, Fandom RPF, due South
Genre: Crack, Fic, M/M, Mary Sue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-01-05
Updated: 2006-01-05
Packaged: 2017-10-13 00:25:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/130777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/china_shop/pseuds/china_shop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"No, no, no, no," says Callum, holding out his hands in a quintessentially Ray gesture. "No. I'm not undercover. I'm not Ray Kowalski, and I'm not Ray Kowalski pretending to be anyone else."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fraser/Callum

Fraser is helping an old lady play shuffleboard and wondering where Diefenbaker's gotten to, when Callum comes wandering past, at a loose end. "Ah," says Fraser to his shuffleboard partner. "Excuse me, ma'am."

He accosts Callum, and, yay, Callum seems pretty happy to be accosted. "We need to get this straight," Callum tells Fraser. "I've been talking to those weird giggly girls who're stalking us, and it turns out they're from an organisation called STFU, and they know what's going on. If you can believe them, which—" He tilts his head. "—I'm not a hundred percent sure about. Anyway, they tell me you're not Paul after all."

"No, Ray, that's what I've been trying to—"

"You're Fraser."

"Well, yes." Fraser takes off his hat and looks out to sea. "You know, I once knew a man called Telephone Jack, who was almost impossible to converse with—"

"Yeah, whatever." Callum double takes. "Wow, you really _are_ Fraser. Huh. But, see, the thing is, I'm not Ray."

Fraser stares at him for a long moment, then smiles and taps his forefinger against his nose. "Ah. I see."

"No, no, no, no," says Callum, holding out his hands in a quintessentially Ray gesture. "No. I'm not undercover. I'm not Ray Kowalski, and I'm not Ray Kowalski pretending to be anyone else."

Fraser examines him with piercing blue eyes. "Ray, you don't have to pretend," he says gravely. "If you don't want to—"

"No, well, see, that's the thing. I—" Callum ducks his head and grins. "I kind of _do_ want to. If, uh, if you want to. But only if we've got all our cards on the table."

Fraser raises his eyebrows. "Are you sure you're not Ray Kowalski?"

"Scout's Honor," says Callum. "I'm Callum Keith Rennie. Actor. Ray Kowalski doesn't exist. At least—" He leans on the railing and looks up at the sky for a moment. "—at least, I don't think so, because that would really fuck with my mind." He looks at Fraser again and holds out his hand, and says, "Callum."

"Benton Fraser, RCMP," says Fraser, shaking his hand. "I first came to this cruiseliner on the trail of my wolf, and through a series of unfortunate coincidences that, well, they don't need exploring at this juncture, I inadvertently stowed away, and have since made my presence known to the Captain and have been permitted to stay, attached as a liaison to the Purser's Office."

Callum grins. "Is that so? I'd like to hear that story some time."

"Well, perhaps I'll tell it to you. In the meantime, I hope you don't mind me saying so, but this situation, and your resemblance to my partner, ah, my ex-partner, remind me of an inverse happenstance that occurred a few years ago, when I returned from a vacation to find my previous partner, Ray Vecchio, had been replaced by someone completely unknown to me who, nonetheless, insisted that _he_ was Ray Vecchio. _This_ situation we have here is, of course, dissimilar in that while you bear a striking resemblance to my former partner, Ray Kowalski, you maintain that you are not, in fact, Ray Kowalski, but someone who has been Ray Kowalski in the past. And hence, by logical extrapolation, also Ray Vecchio. So you'll forgive me if I seemed somewhat suspicious when you first denied your own existence. That is, the existence of Ray Kowalski."

Callum puts his hand to his head, and tries to stave off a headache. "You know what? I think I need a cup of coffee. You want to join me? I don't know if they have bark tea on this barge, but—" Fraser looks startled, and Callum breaks off. "Okay," he sighs. "Yeah, I know about the bark tea. Let's take this one more time from the top. But first, coffee."

"As you wish." Fraser smiles brilliantly at Callum, and Callum gets a sinking feeling that he's just undone all his good work in getting through to Fraser. And then he figures, what the hell. Callum is the closest thing in the world to the person Fraser's looking for (at least, Callum hopes he is). Maybe that's enough. He jerks his head toward the B Deck cafe, and they walk off together, with Fraser bemoaning Dief's poor taste in traveling companions while Callum listens to the soothing sound of his voice and wonders if it would really be so bad to _be_ Ray Kowalski. Especially here, on a ship, where the chances of being shot at by random criminals are practically zilch.

Of course, as soon as he thinks that, a shot rings out, and he has to throw himself behind a lifeboat to avoid getting killed.

Fraser peers after him. "It's all right. It's just the shooting range."

"Are you sure?" asks Callum, remembering more about the show now. Remembering how trouble follows Fraser round like he's the Pied Piper and trouble is a rat.

"Quite certain," says Fraser, helping Callum up. His hand is big and warm, and he doesn't let go immediately. "Diefenbaker and I made the same mistake ourselves, on our first day aboard, but they're only shooting skeets."

"Well, if you're sure." Callum squeezes Fraser's hand and lets go. On impulse he slings his arm around Fraser's shoulder, and him to the cafe. "Because, jeez, now I _really_ need that coffee."


End file.
